June Beginnings

And so begins another month of 2014. June. It's a time for grilling out, swimming and bonfires. Today I have felt overwhelmed with blessings. 

I woke up this morning. That right there is more than I deserve! I am healthy. I was able to take a nice, hot shower and put on nice clothing. Then I went downstairs and ate a good breakfast with my husband and two kids, all of which are healthy. God has blessed my family. For this, I am thankful.

We are blessed to be able to attend an incredible church that is filled with awesome people. Today's service was no let down. "Only Believe" was the title of the sermon given by a visiting minister. God has saved my soul, my life and my marriage. For this, I am thankful. 

The evening has been filled with baking, interacting with my children, and playing video games with my husband. Our lives are not perfect. Our home will not be pictured on HGTV. Our names will not be written in the history books. But we are blessed. We have been given life for another day. For all of this, I am thankful.

Garbage In, Garbage Out

I have heard these words my entire life. Little did I understand in my youth the truth they held. As I have grown older and encountered different circumstances in life, my thoughts have been increasingly harder to control. Life gets crazy busy and schedules get messed up and things change, people change. The thoughts and ideas going through my mind tend to get out of control as I mentally attempt to juggle it all.

Have you heard the phrase "misery loves company"? With access to movies, music and people at the mere glimpse of a button, it can be very easy to gravitate towards things that enhance your emotions.If you are depressed, stressed, overwhelmed, lonely, angry, or feeling lost, you will tend to naturally gravitate towards things that fit that mood. All that does is stir up the very thing you are attempting to shake off.

In my daily walk I have found the best way to change my mood is to begin filling my mind with positive thoughts, surrounding myself with good people, listening to upbeat music, and yes, even watching cat videos on YouTube. It goes against my instinct to turn on a Kari Jobe song, take a stroll through the park, or even to say something positive about that person that is nagging me. It is a difficult habit to form. However at the end of the day, I am always thankful I did not let that one thing ruin the rest of my day. 

I cannot always see the bigger picture but life is made of one event after another, some good and some not so good. Whatever you feed your mind will fuel your body. I do not want my days to be wasted with anger and regret. I want to leave a positive impact on those around me. I cannot feast on garbage and live a long, healthy life. What are you eating today?

Writing

Writing. It clears the mind and heals the soul. I have filled a countless number of notebooks with my thoughts, hopes, dreams, regrets, tears and fears over the years. Where are these books now? Some of them were burned along with the bridges they represented, others were thrown in the trash with disgust. I am sure I have two or three floating around my house now, in boxes with other long forgotten items. Perhaps one even remains in the attic of my parents' home.

Through all of the changes, the ups and downs, the twists and turns, one thing remains constant: the words written on those pages represent a part of me at that moment in time. These are the events that helped to shape and mold me into the woman I am today.

Have you ever recorded your thoughts and emotions in the middle of a struggle, then returned after the storm to read those pages again? I have. It sometimes makes me feel foolish and silly. However it also serves as a moment of realization and growth. It reminds me that in the middle of a situation, when I am feeling overwhelmed by life, as if all of the walls around me are closing in, there is light on the other side. This is just a small segment of my life as a whole. If I can make it through the darkness surrounding me, the sun will be waiting for me soon, shining light into the shadows. If I am particularly lucky, the shining will even reveal the significance and meaning to this segment of the journey. If not, I wait and I grow. Always growing, forever reaching.

This is me. No, not literally but metaphorically speaking, I am this bush. I was planted here in this life for a purpose, for a season. Someone out there has high expectations for me, dreams. I have been on a journey for some time now; a journey of growth and maturity. For the most part, I was not aware of what was occurring. I foolishly thought I was simply going through the motions of life. Oh how wrong I have been. Every day I am either reaching for the warmth of the sun, soaking in the nourishment of an afternoon rain, blowing in the wind hoping my root system is strong enough to sustain me,  or simply standing in the still, quiet morn. I am either growing or dying. Reaching or falling. I am like this bush, still in the early stages of blossoming, hoping to survive the seasons of life in order to reach full maturity and growth into something, someone beautiful.